Kiss With a Fist
by Cognitivism
Summary: Batwoman/Catwoman AU: There's a Van Gogh exhibit in town and Catwoman has her eye on a certain painting, much to the annoyance of Gotham's local superhero.


**Disclaimer: **Brittana are still not mine and I have a horrible feeling they never will be.

**Author's Note(s):** This is just a silly one-shot I wrote a while ago and has just been sitting around on my computer for months, so I thought I might as well post it as I have no intention of re-editing it. Enjoy!

**Kiss With a Fist**

The world is silent while a single figure lies in wait, hidden in the darkness. She's been crouched in the corner behind a large male-shaped sculpture for the best part of three hours and still nothing has happened. Patience has never been Brittany's strong point.

She shifts her weight onto her left foot and scans the dark room, her eyes lingering on certain paintings hanging from the ceiling that are partially obscuring her vision. There are too many places to hide in this gallery; too many dark corners and winding staircases and ornate stone pillars. She used to love it here as a child for that exact reason, but as a Defender of the City she finds it much less accommodating.

A quiet crash jolts Brittany from her memories and she reaches up calmly to pull her mask down her face. Art theft isn't usually at the top of her agenda, but there's a Van Gough exhibit this weekend and Brittany knows their local cat burglar won't be able to resist a break-in. She smirks a little to herself and crouches further into the shadows as a beam of light appears, sweeping across the room quickly.

When she catches her prey, Brittany is definitely going to need to know how she got past all the extra security.

In only a few seconds, a dark figure emerges from behind a pillar and Brittany smirks to herself. Even alone, Catwoman moves with the grace and agility of well...a cat. The woman stops for a moment and her head rotates slowly, presumably checking for any additional traps or alarms before she continues her journey onwards, so Brittany stays as still as she possibly can to avoid detection. Her heartbeat picks up with a thrill of excitement. Brittany has loved their game of cat and bat but now it's time for her to emerge victorious once and for all. She's been waiting for this day for such a long time.

Seemingly deciding that there's nothing else standing in her way, Catwoman prowls forward once more, heading towards a circular set of stairs very close to where Brittany hides. She knows exactly what painting it is the woman is after and that's why she chose this spot. Oh yeah, Brittany is a damn genius.

Once Catwoman is half way up the stairs, Brittany creeps silently from her hiding place and finally begins to stalk her prey. This has always been her favourite part of her interactions with the cat burglar. The thrill of the chase hums through her body as she sticks close to the shadows and moves silently. She knows even the tiniest of sounds will alert her victim to her presence and Brittany needs the element of surprise on her side to counteract Catwoman's complete unpredictability.

Obviously, this isn't Catwoman's first time in this gallery. It would be clear even if Brittany hadn't know that already because the woman navigates the endless stream of artfully dangling paintings, endless corridors and interminable archways with complete ease. She's making no effort to hide herself from the security cameras so obviously she's found a way to disable them. Brittany isn't surprised; it isn't the first time this has happened and she's seen firsthand how good Catwoman can be with electronics. She's not as good as Brittany though; Batwoman corners the market on gadgets.

They're just outside their destination now; Catwoman still ahead, her gait slowing almost unnoticeably and Brittany still trailing behind in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to spring. The burglar seems to pause now, her gloved fingers reaching out to caress the ornate, open door frame almost reverently. Call her what you will, but Catwoman appreciates beautiful things in a way unlike most others. Brittany appreciates beautiful things too, but she's often found herself underwhelmed by architecture and artwork. She finds herself drawn to the beauty in living things. God's creations rather than man's. She hasn't the time to dwell on this now though, because Catwoman is moving once more and now she's reached her final destination.

As predicted, the thief heads cautiously to a very specific painting and Brittany finds herself rolling her eyes and smiling with amusement as she crosses the threshold into the almost round room, full of gentle corners and a collection of Van Gogh's finest works. Nowhere left to hide now.

For almost a full minute, Brittany stands in the doorway and watches Catwoman gaze at 'A Starry Night'. She can't see her face but she knows her expression is one of deep longing and admiration. It might be sweet if it wasn't for the whole imminent attempt at stealing. Brittany calls it an attempt because this time she's going to put a stop to it.

"It's beautiful, don't you think?" Catwoman asks after another minute, shattering the silence. Brittany flinches. _Crap_! "What? Did you honestly think I haven't known you've been following me since I reached the Italian Renaissance exhibition? I could smell your perfume."

"...I know," Brittany lies, resisting the urge to clamp her hand to her forehead in frustration. Catwoman laughs lightly but still doesn't turn around. Brittany's not sure if it's a display of dominance or if the thief just can't drag her eyes away from the painting.

"I have to hand it to you though, I didn't hear a thing," Catwoman compliments. Brittany's heart beats just a little bit faster.

"I'm a ninja," Brittany tells her.

"I thought you were a _bat_," Catwoman replies.

"A bat ninja," Brittany clarifies. "Defending the city from baddies with my...bat ninja skills." She's usually a lot smoother than this when it comes to catching criminals.

This time, Catwoman does turn around. There's a sultry smirk on her face and Brittany straightens up, preparing to strike just in case the woman makes a run for it. "Is that why you're here?" the burglar asks in her smoky voice. "The real villains of Gotham took the night off so you decided to follow little old me here?"

"You are a real villain," says Brittany sternly. Her eyes involuntarily trail up and down the woman in front of her, from the tip of her cat ears down to the sharp, black heels of her boots. A really hot villain.

"Aw." Catwoman pouts just a little and raises a hand to twirl dark hair between her fingers. "Now that's not very nice." They're getting off track now.

"That painting is worth millions of dollars," says Brittany, almost like she's scolding a child.

"More than a hundred-million actually," Catwoman corrects her lazily. "Don't you think it would look so much better on my bedroom wall?"

Brittany clicks her tongue. "It might," she admits, "but you still can't have it."

"Well you're no fun at all," says Catwoman. There's a playful look in her eyes and she slinks towards Brittany until they're stood less than a foot apart. Brittany gulps but stands her ground. She should probably feel guilty for the way her body heat spikes, but she doesn't. She's only human after all. "So what do we do now, my chiropteran friend?"

"I'm..." Brittany swallows back a stutter before ploughing bravely on. "I'm going to take you into custody and then deliver you to the police. You've been plaguing this city with your theft and villainy for too long!"

Catwoman visibly sighs, the eyes behind her mask flickering with faux disappointment. If she ever gets tired with the whole cat burglar thing Brittany expects she'd make quite a good actress. "I was afraid you were going to say that," Catwoman says. She moved an arm behind her back but Brittany ignores it.

"So now you have to come with–" Before she can finish her sentence Catwoman's hand whips in front of her face with almost inhuman speed. "What's that in your ha–" She's cut off again by a sharp hissing sound and a peculiar smell invading her senses. "What..." Brittany trails off, her knees suddenly becoming weak and her mind clouding over.

Before she can stumble to her knees, two strong arms wrap around her torso and lower her gently to the ground. Somewhere in the back of her mind Brittany thinks she hears a chuckle of amusement and she really wants to be angry about it but her body isn't cooperating.

"Just relax, sweetie," a familiar voice whispers in her ear. Brittany fights to keep her eyes open but piece by piece her body is shutting down. She's not sure, but she thinks she feels the pressure of a kiss to her covered cheek before the other presence is gone completely. _That could have gone better_, is the last thing Brittany thinks before she completely loses consciousness.

* * *

The sun is just beginning to rise when Brittany arrives back at her apartment, pink backpack containing her bat suit dangling from her hand. She slams the door behind her and it takes less than five seconds for her girlfriend to appear at their bedroom door with a cat that got the cream sort of grin on her face. She's dressed in sweatpants and a tank top complete with bed head like she's been lazing around the apartment for the whole night. If Brittany didn't know better, she'd say the woman has been sleeping for the last eight hours.

"That was so not cool, Santana," she says, throwing her bag onto the floor and kicking her shoes off. Santana just laughs. "You didn't even take the painting!"

Santana raises an eyebrow. "Didn't I?" She's still wearing that silly smile and now Brittany isn't so sure.

"I can't believe you _left_ me there. What if the police had arrived? Or they'd opened the gallery before I woke up? They might have taken off my mask!"

Santana sighs theatrically. "Would I do that to you, Britt? That stuff works for like ten minutes, tops. You had plenty of time to make your great escape."

But Brittany is still mad. "Ten minutes? I was out for three hours, Santana! And did you really have to drape me across Cleopatra's lap in the Egyptian section?"

With a cackle of cruel delight, Santana takes a few steps forward and ropes her arms loosely around Brittany's neck. "Don't be mad at me?" She pouts her lips for just a second before another smirk captures her face. "They announced the exhibition eight months in advance and the curator droned on and _on_ about his new security system. He used the word _impenetrable_. How's a girl to resist a challenge like that?"

Of course Brittany knows Santana was going to take that as personal challenge. It's why she'd been there in the first place. When you're as good as Santana it's hard to find anything worth testing your skills on and this was an opportunity she wouldn't pass up in a million years.

"Okay, fine," Brittany concedes. "I don't mind that you broke into the museum. But you still shouldn't have left me there."

In lieu of responding with words, Santana takes another tiny step forward and completely closes the gap between their bodies. "Come on, Britt," she says softly. They're so close Brittany can feel Santana's breath on her face. "I was watching you the whole time. I wouldn't have let them get you."

She wants to narrow her eyes because she's just not sure she believes a word of that...but Santana's lips are _so_ close to hers..."Do you promise?" she asks, defeated.

Santana smiles at that; a real smile this time with the dimple rather than the super sexy Catwoman smirk. "Cross my heart," she says, miming the action with her finger. "I could never just leave you. You know that, right?"

Brittany leans forward just a little so that their foreheads are resting together. She does know that. Santana may be a thief and Brittany's supposed antithesis but she's proved time and time again that she's completely devoted to their relationship. "I'm mad at you...but you're still so hot."

With a laugh, Santana kisses her softly. "So are you. Especially with those pink leg warmers on your arms." _Obviously_, Brittany thinks. She's really perfected her innocent _I couldn't possibly be Batwoman_ look. She rocks it like nobody else could. "Anyway," Santana continues before kissing Brittany on the lips for a second time and then tapping her on the nose, "I think you deserve a nap."

Before Brittany can agree, Santana has already pulled away and laced their fingers together so she can tug her towards their bedroom. Brittany follows because Santana is right; her head is feeling fuzzy from whatever that magic pepper spray stuff was and she'd spent the whole night before planning how she was going to break into the art gallery so she could be there before Catwoman.

The curtains are drawn but room is dimly lit by the two lamps on either side of their bed and on the small table next to Brittany's side next to the photo of her old cat, Lord Tubbington, is a tall glass of water, two aspirin and a bagel that's probably cold by now. Brittany grins slyly at Santana. "Aw," she coos. "You love me."

"I don't," says Santana, suddenly looking a little embarrassed. It's adorable that even now Santana struggles with the idea of relying on anybody other than herself for anything. Somewhere in the back of her mind she still considers caring about another person to be a weakness.

"You do," Brittany teases. "You love me even though I wouldn't let you steal your favourite painting." She walks over to the bed to take the painkillers and eyes Santana with amusement over the glass as she swallows. She's sulking. Probably over the Van Gogh. Brittany ignores the bagel for now and starts to shed her outer clothes, noting the way Santana seems to perk up a little as she watches her. "Come on, honey," she says when she's done. She slides into bed, holding up the cover for Santana to join her.

"But I still have to–"

Brittany shushes her. "No. Sleep now. Then sex. Villainy later." Grumbling, Santana does as she's told and joins Brittany in the bed. She shuffles over so they're touching and Brittany wraps her arms around Santana's waist. "Good girl."

"I really wanted that painting," Santana mumbles into Brittany's neck, making her laugh. There's a ninety-five percent chance that Catwoman is going to make another attempt at stealing from that exhibit and Brittany knows she'll have to find out when so she can stop her for a second time. Something to worry about later though.

It's always going to be something of a point of contention in their relationship, this whole superhero/supervillain dynamic they have going on and Brittany tries really hard not to think about the moral implications. But really, who else was she going to fall in love with?


End file.
